Is It Rude to Have a Destination Wedding? (IT DEPENDS)

Research by Trip Savvy says that 25% of all weddings are destination ones.

Surprisingly, a different report, noted that many guests don’t love a wedding where they will be forced to spend.

So, Is It Rude to Have a Destination Wedding?

The short answer is that having a destination wedding is not rude or selfish. Please remember that this is your big day, so you have the right to choose what works for you. But at the same time, we must mention that it can come off as rude to force guests to attend your destination wedding. And those who can’t afford it deem you selfish.

Why Is It Not Rude or Selfish to Have a Destination Wedding?

A destination wedding might be rude or selfish depending on how you cover it.

For example, if you insist that your guests pay to attend your wedding without thinking about their financial situation, you may be rude and selfish.

Remember that while you want to celebrate in a different destination, you should not make your guests feel bad for being unable to attend your wedding because of financial constraints.

But at the same time, you need to accept that some people won’t be thrilled about you getting married far away, no matter what you do to accommodate them.

In that case, you shrug them off and move on with your plans.

Here are some things that make your destination wedding not rude or selfish.

1. If You Pay for It

Often, the couple having a wedding are responsible for making every decision about their big day.

And most times, their decision is final, and their guests are only to comply with it and be happy for them. And this is truer if they are financing their wedding.

Since they are not asking for any money from the guests, they have the right to make every decision. In that case, if a destination wedding is what they want, they are free to do so.

It becomes selfish and rude when their parents or other people finance their wedding.

This comes with some strings attached and the donors” have a say in deciding the wedding’s venue.

If other people are financing your wedding, you need to communicate your desire to have a destination wedding when it’s still early.

2. If You Communicate with Your Guests

Any wedding requires you to have constant and open communication.

This is even MORE CRUCIAL for a destination wedding.

Don’t start sending your invitation cards without putting your feelers out first.

We advise you to write each of your guests individually on a list and call them to inform them about your plans.

This sounds like a lot of work, but it is worth it if you want your guests to feel valued and included. 

Also, while doing that, be understanding to those who won’t make it.

The point is to make your guests feel that their presence at your wedding is crucial before you take further steps.

While doing that, roughly estimate the number of people going to make it to your destination wedding.

If most of your closest family members and friends won’t attend, it may be wise to change your plans.

We are not talking about canceling your destination wedding plans or together.

But, for instance, if you are planning it in Paris, think of going alone as a couple after your wedding.

Once your guests know your intentions, you can send them invitation cards for follow-up.

This will let them know you are expecting their confirmation, but at the same time, understand if they can’t make it. Please be in touch with them as often as possible to avoid any misjudgments.

3. If You Give Early Notice and Your Guests Agree

It would be best if you allowed enough time for your guests to save money. It may be around 1.5-2 years for the closest people in your life. Also, be flexible and understanding.

As you know, life plans change all the time. So, if a person won’t make it, you need to accept that.

Please don’t take it like they don’t care about you.

Remember that jobs, babies, and other commitments can come in the way of someone’s plan. Therefore, you need to be okay with that.

Why Can a Destination Wedding Be Considered Rude?

As we’ve already said, many people think forcing guests to pay for expenses to attend your wedding is wrong. So for many, destination weddings may be a costly adventure.

Even if you save some money for your wedding, most likely, you will need your guests to pay for

  • their travel expenses
  • accommodation
  • wedding attire
  • and a gift on top of everything else.

Put yourself in their shoes; you have been invited to a party and are forced to pay for it. Wouldn’t it be a little expensive?

Also, remember that some of your guests may not have passports.

Thus, you will force them to go through the application and purchasing process to make it to your wedding.

And some are older and cannot travel far distances.

So, when planning a destination wedding, you need to keep these things in mind.

Think about how you will tell and invite them to your wedding so that it doesn’t sound rude or selfish.

Of course, your guests want to participate in your wedding, but those who can’t will feel left out or bad as they can’t afford the trip.

Consider your relationship when approaching your potential guests, and be open-hearted.

Please explain why you’ve settled on a destination wedding when approaching them about your plans. Also, inform them that you aren’t making it hard for them to attend.

Two Tips on Dealing with Guests Who Think Your Destination Wedding Is Rude

1. Invite Loved Ones Only

The larger your guest list is, the more you will have trouble planning your wedding and communicating with them.

If a destination wedding is what you want, narrow your guest list to people very close to you, and you can manage to be in touch with them through texts or calls when planning the wedding.

2. Be Understanding

Also, remember to assure your invites that you understand if they won’t make it for their known reasons.

If some still think you are selfish or rude, reach out to them individually and explain.

Remember that most of them only feel that way because they are afraid they’ll miss your wedding. Assure them that you understand if they won’t make it.

If they are close to you, consider organizing something special like a night out to make them feel valued.

Remember that while your destination wedding may still happen, that is just for one day.

But your relationship and friendships are more important and not worth losing, in our opinion.

Final Thoughts


What may make it rude is how you plan it and how you communicate with your guests.

Remain calm and respectful when telling people what you’ve chosen to do and understand their decision.

Please don’t force them to come or make them feel bad for being unable to attend it.