If we can get rid of funerals, all of us would. However, that’s impossible, so we have to deal with it.
But what happens if you’re invited to a wedding happening the same day as a funeral? Which one should you attend?
So, Should You Attend a Wedding on the Same Day as a Funeral?
No, you shouldn’t. Make a choice. Think about it. You are from a funeral that made you incredibly sad and heading to a wedding that requires you to be happy or vice versa. Balancing these emotions and being present at the current event might be challenging.
Additionally, some cultures are against attending both events on the same day.
For instance, the Chinese believe that if you’d planned a wedding, and unfortunately, a friend or relative dies, you must cancel your attendance and go to the funeral regardless of how close you are to the couple that is getting married.
If you insist on attending the wedding, it is believed that you are inviting bad luck to the couple, causing unnecessary problems and even leading to divorce.
Should You Attend a Wedding or a Funeral?
This is entirely your decision. But, many people would advise picking a funeral over a wedding because that is the last time you will celebrate the deceased.
But everything boils down to your relationship with the couple and the person who has passed on.
If you aren’t close to the couple, skipping the wedding or attending only the reception might be the right choice, provided you explain it to the couple.
Remember, you can make it up to the couple but can’t do the same for the dead person.
But, if you didn’t know the deceased, let’s say they are your friend’s grandmother whom you didn’t get to interact with, skipping the funeral might be reasonable.
However, remember that funerals are for the people left behind.
So, if there’s someone banking on your support, it is best to attend the funeral. Ask yourself, which event will your presence be missed? Then, decide to attend that one.
People bail on weddings all the time.
However, for a person to bail on a funeral, they must have something very important to attend to.
But your relationship with both parties is what determines your attendance.
Should You Bail On The Wedding? Four Considerations
1. Think About Your Relationship with the Couple Getting Married
This should always be a determiner when deciding to attend someone’s events. Is the bride or groom your sibling, close relative, or close friend?
It won’t be nice to miss their special day if they are.
But if the people getting married are not close to you, let’s say your friend’s cousin, you don’t need to feel pressured to attend the wedding.
2. Consider When You Last Saw Them
Some friendships fade as the years pass. While this is sad, it’s also unavoidable.
People change, situations change, relationships change, friendships change.
So, you rarely talk to them, if at all. If such a friend invites you to their wedding, you may or may not go.
Take note of the last time you’ve seen each other.
If it is more than a year, you should bail on the wedding.
That is true if you’ve never met their better half. Chances are you don’t know most of their wedding guests.
But if you’ve been close to the person and know who they are marrying, or you’re close with their family, you should attend their wedding.
That way you can reconnect your friendship.
3. Where is the Wedding?
Destination weddings have become popular these days.
Besides attending the wedding, guests and the couple marrying can have a relaxing time depending on their chosen location.
The cost may quickly add up if you’re invited to several of these weddings.
Out-of-state weddings involve hotel rooms, plane tickets, rental cars, etc.
If you can’t afford it, bail on the wedding.
4. Your Partner Was on the Invitation, But You Weren’t
Your partner may want to take you to the wedding as their date.
But if your name wasn’t on the invite, you don’t have to attend the wedding unless you want to.
Remember that many invitations don’t ask guests to bring a plus one.
In that case, you are technically not invited to the wedding.
Should You Bail On The Funeral?
No one loves funerals but your presence can be a nice gesture to your friends, family, coworkers, or even neighbors.
However, you won’t always make it to all funerals, even if you want to. But when do you miss a funeral?
When deciding when to attend a funeral, think about the relationship and closeness you have with the deceased and/or their family members.
You won’t be haunted for missing it if you aren’t that close.
But if your presence is needed, it’s wise to be there.
But generally, if you can make it to a funeral, be there to pay your last respect to the departed.
Final Thoughts
If you are comfortable attending a wedding and a funeral on the same day, do it.
But many people aren’t and end up choosing one because of the diverse emotions involved in both. Remember switching from sad to happy or happy to sad can be challenging.
But, if you can be present in both, go ahead.