Being invited to a wedding means the couple has valued you so much that they would love your presence at their celebration.
However, there are many decisions you have to make as a wedding guest. One of them is whether you will attend the wedding.
So, Should You Attend a Wedding on Your Birthday?
Yes. You should if you are comfortable. Couples have many things to consider when planning their wedding. No one would ever get married if they had to consider everyone’s birthday, anniversaries, graduation, etc.
It wouldn’t hurt to sacrifice your birthday for one year to celebrate other people. But then, that depends on how comfortable you are not being the center of attention in your day. Some people love birthdays and would not miss celebrating theirs for any reason. If that’s the case, you should plan your birthday celebration and miss the wedding.
Would It Be Rude to Miss a Wedding for Your Birthday?
The majority of people are thrilled to attend a wedding.
But, most times, the invitation usually clashes with other current plans and may not sound appealing, especially if it is from someone you are not close with.
If you’re considering turning down a wedding invitation, you are not alone. A recent survey revealed that about 13% of guests don’t attend weddings.
But is it rude to decline a wedding invitation for your birthday plans?
It depends. Usually, when someone declines a wedding invitation, it is because they have a very good reason.
But others just don’t feel like attending. It may come out as rude when you don’t attend a wedding because of your birthday.
Remember that wedding guests sacrifice their plans to attend the event. So, when you cannot sacrifice your day to celebrate other people, they may think you are rude.
But then it depends. Some people start planning their birthdays months prior.
If you have already booked your travel ticket, accommodation, or birthday venue, canceling may not be the best option.
In that case, you can explain to the bride and groom, and hopefully, they will understand.
Also note that while you may have a good reason not to attend a wedding, how you turn down the invitation may or may not be rude.
It’s always wise to remain as polite as you can when declining an invitation and explain apologetically why you cannot come.
Lastly, your relationship is another consideration when deciding whether it is rude not to attend a wedding for your birthday.
If the bride is your best friend or sister, chances are she would want you to be present at her big day. If you had made plans without informing her, it will come off as rude if you fail to attend the wedding.
Five Ways to Politely Decline a Wedding Invitation
If you’ve made up your mind about not attending the wedding, there are certain ways you can decline the invitation so as not to sound rude or insult the couple.
But remember, there isn’t a right or wrong way to go about this. Here are some tips to help you:
1. Decline as Soon as Possible
It is already bad that you are not going to attend the wedding.
So, don’t make things worse by leading the couple on only for you not to show up on time.
Although you are nervous about telling them your decision, you should do it on time. Please don’t make them chase you for an answer on whether you will come.
Send your RSVP before the deadline to allow the bride and groom to plan for the headcount.
Also, remember to respond how the couple wants their guests to respond, whether through email, website, or mail.
2. Be Honest
Don’t make up a false excuse. Deciding to miss the wedding for your birthday celebration can seem selfish. So, you may feel uncomfortable telling them this reason.
However, lying is worse, especially when the couple discovers the truth.
You don’t have to be brutally honest, but you don’t have to fake an excuse.
Explain to them that you had already planned for this day and booked things if that is your case.
3. Be Firm
Once you have declined the invitation, stick to your decision. The couple might try to persuade you when you bring up this conversation.
But don’t make it look like your mind is not made up. Also, don’t bother them again about shifting their guest numbers to accommodate you.
This is why it is crucial to think through your decision before sending your response.
Please don’t call the couple after a week to tell them you’ve changed your mind. That is inconsiderate to the time and effort they devoted to planning their wedding.
4. Thank and Congratulate the Couple
There is no way declining an invitation won’t sound rude, no matter how much you try to be polite. But you can make things less awkward and prevent hard feelings.
Make sure you let the couple know that you are thankful for the invitation in the first place, congratulate them, and wish them a happy marriage.
Remember that if the couple invites you to their wedding, you are important to them. Therefore, even if you decline, let them know you are grateful.
5. Send a Gift
Sending a gift if you won’t attend the wedding is optional.
But it is a nice gesture, especially if the couple is close to you. You can send a small or even big gift depending on how comfortable you are.
Although the couple will be disappointed by your absence, they will still appreciate your gift.
How Can a Couple Acknowledge a Guest’s Birthday at Their Wedding?
Sometimes a couple can plan their wedding on a guest’s date intentionally.
When the guest is close to them, like their sister, bridesmaid, or man of honor, they may surprise them.
There are various ways of doing this.
For instance, the couple can request the DJ or band to announce the guest’s birthday and play a birthday song on the dance floor.
On top, they can have a small cake with candles for the guests.
Some people even go to the extent of giving the guest a gift during the rehearsal dinner.
This is a good place to watch the guest open the gift, and it can be accompanied by a toast.
Making it to your next birthday is always a huge milestone that deserves a celebration.
But if the date falls on a wedding you’ve been invited to, you may want to forego your celebration to be with the newlyweds.
But this depends on whether you are comfortable with that. If you are not, you won’t be jailed for choosing to celebrate your birthday.