Being invited to a wedding can be exciting but stressful at the same time.
What will you wear, which gift will you buy, and how can you be a good guest?
But what if you’re a parent and your child has a function (i.e. graduation ceremony) on the same day?
So, Should You Attend a Wedding and Your Child’s Graduation on the Same Day?
The short answer is it depends. As a parent, anything concerning your child should be your top priority. Therefore, while you may want to celebrate with the couple, attending your child’s graduation ceremony should be your choice. But while we said you prioritize your child over the marrying couple, it is not that easy, especially if the couple is close to you. For instance, if your sister is getting married, they would want you to be present for their wedding. In that case, you can plan how to attend the two events.
Two Graduation and Wedding Attendance Considerations
It’s possible to attend a wedding and your child’s graduation on the same day. However, that will take some planning and commitment.
1. Start Times
One, you must know the start times of each event so you can plan accordingly.
Most graduations are in the morning and only take part of the day.
In that case, you will have time in the afternoon to attend the reception. But ask when it is planned to start, so you don’t miss anything significant.
You also have to plan what you will wear for both events.
Since both events are formal, you don’t need to change your outfit.
But some couples give a strict dress code which you may feel uncomfortable wearing to the graduation.
In that case, you can carry your wedding outfit and change it later.
Six Ways To Say No To A Wedding Invitation
1. Send Your Regrets Early
A regret is a regret. So, it doesn’t matter whether you send it early or not, right?
False. The longer you wait to send your response back, the harder it becomes for the couples to plan their wedding.
Please practice RSVP etiquette by responding to the invitation promptly.
You should check the “declines with regret” box if you decide not to go to the wedding.
2. Give a Short Explanation
It’s normal to feel guilty for declining the invitation.
For this reason, you may want to write a long and apologetic explanation to show how much you wanted to be there.
But you need to remember that missing events isn’t strange. People miss events every day.
The main reason couples request their invites to send RSVPs is to have a final headcount to help them budget.
It isn’t about your child’s graduation or other personal matters you could be having.
That is why you shouldn’t think too much about refusing to attend the wedding. Give a short straight to the point explanation like this one:
Dear Pauline and Justus (the bride and the groom), it’s such a nice thing that you want to start your life together. My parents and well wishes go to you. Regrettably, I won’t make it to your bid day. However, I’ll be there in spirit.
Lots of Love, Ann.
3. Offer to Send Someone to Represent You
If you can’t attend but can find someone to represent you, first speak with this person and ensure they agree before suggesting this option to the couple.
If the person is willing to go, you can inform the bride and groom that while you might be unable to attend in person, you can send a representative.
But if the invitation is for a party or an informal event, you can’t substitute your presence.
4. Send a Gift
It is not mandatory to send a gift to a wedding you won’t attend. However, it is a nice gesture that can warm the hearts of those getting married.
It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift, especially if you have already used money to plan for your child’s graduation party.
It can be a card expressing your apologies and regrets or a small gift that shows you wish the couple well.
5. Stick to Your Decision
Once you send your regrets, don’t start debating whether to go to the wedding or not. You don’t want the couple to think you are undecided.
Plus, changing your mind makes planning hard. So once you say no, stick to your response.
6. Plan Something Nice for the Couple
If the newlyweds are close to you, you may feel bad for not showing up at their wedding.
Fortunately, you can do many cool things to compensate for your absence.
For instance, you can offer a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers. you can book them a spa session, dinner at a fancy restaurant, or tickets to a show.
You know the couple best. So choose something they would love.
It’s possible to attend a wedding and graduation on the same day.
But if you have to choose one, we advise you to attend your child’s graduation.
Remember that your presence at your child’s events is important.
And while it is always an honor to be invited to a wedding, you won’t be condemned for declining.