If you’ve given birth recently, your priorities have obviously changed.
Now, your focus is on caring for the baby and helping yourself heal. As such, you don’t have much time for other things.
But what if you’d been invited to a wedding? Should or shouldn’t you attend it?
So, Should You Attend a Wedding After Recently Giving Birth?
Everyone’s delivery is different. Some people, especially those who did natural labor, tend to heal faster than others, especially those who were operated on. But even with natural birth, it is not guaranteed that you will be back on your feet soon.
Not to mention, you have a newborn who constantly needs your attention and depending on how recent your birth was, you may be unable to take the newborn outside.
If your labor was short and you had an uncomplicated delivery and feel energetic, you could decide to go to the wedding. But, if you are in pain and find that so many factors are inconveniencing you, it’s best to send an apology.
How Can You Attend a Wedding After Giving Birth?
If you’ve decided to go to the wedding, there are a few ways to ensure you have a great time. These are:
1. Wear Black
Did you know that you still look pregnant even after giving birth?
Unfortunately, the stretched muscles don’t go back in immediately after the baby is out.
If this is an issue, you would want to hide your ‘bump.’ In that case, think of wearing black.
The color is generally concealing, especially if you opt for loose clothing.
So get a black maternity dress to keep things comfortable.
Please avoid wearing tight clothes even if you’re not feeling pain.
You may not be fully healed, and tight attires can make things uncomfortable.
2. Plan to Leave Early
You still have a newborn to take care of and feed.
On top of that, you may not have recovered fully, and you may be feeling terrible.
For these reasons, you can’t stay up late. In fact, it is advisable to only go to a section of the wedding.
Either attend the ceremony or the reception. We recommend spending four hours max.
It is also worth noting that you will not be comfortable.
Whether your birth was vaginal or you had a C-section, you need time to get back in shape.
This is why it is a bad idea to wear heels you’ve not worn in nine months to the wedding or do strenuous dance moves.
What Should You Do If You Won’t Make it to the Wedding?
Sadly, you cannot push yourself if you aren’t physically and mentally ready.
If that is the case, you need to know how to tactfully manage the change of plans. Here are some things to help you:
1. Inform The Couple As Soon As Possible
Couples go through the guest count to know how many people will attend the event.
That makes planning food, venue and other supplies easy.
If you’ve decided not to attend the celebration, be courteous to let the couple know early. Inform them of your circumstances so that they know what to do.
The couple can easily let their caterers know the final guest count if the wedding is informal.
But even then, changing an RSVP shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s best to call them since sending a text can seem rude and unapologetic.
Here is what you can say if you have no idea:
Dear Rose and David,
I am excited to hear about your wedding. Sadly, I will not make it as I recently gave birth and haven’t healed yet. If only I could come, I’d be there without second thoughts. I truly apologize, but I will be thinking of you during your wedding day. Please receive my love and best wishes. Congratulations once more.
2. Plan on Attending Post-Wedding Events
Saying no to the wedding doesn’t mean you skip all the fun that comes after the wedding.
If you didn’t manage to attend the bridal shower and engagement party, you could still show up to the post-wedding brunch.
Remember that there are plenty of ways to celebrate the couple without being there on their big day.
3. Send a Gift
Technically you aren’t supposed to send a gift if you are not going to the wedding.
But doing so can be a nice gesture. Sending a gift if you can’t be present is considered good etiquette.
So, look at their registry and find something that will represent your absence.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money or put a lot of thought into buying this present.
How much you spend will depend on your relationship with them.
If it is your best friend or sibling getting married, you’d want to spend more. Otherwise, a less expensive gift will surface.
4. Send a Sweet Text Message on the Wedding Day
Compose a sweet short message that wishes them well and send it. This way, they will feel extra special.
If you’re only wishing them well, it is best to send a message rather than to call, as they will be too busy during their wedding day to receive calls.
Whether to go to a wedding or not after giving birth depends on how you feel physically and mentally.
If you are not in that space, stay home.