Deciding who to invite and who to leave out from your wedding guest list can be tricky, especially if you have a large family and many friends.
Some people get a direct invite, no questions asked.
But, Should You Invite Your Mom’s New Boyfriend (Or Girlfriend) To Your Wedding?
Answer: It depends. You should be surrounded by people that care about you, and you care about them at your wedding. So ask yourself, is your mom’s new partner one of these people? Generally, you shouldn’t feel obliged to invite them to your wedding, especially if the relationship is brand new. But if you have space for one more person and are comfortable around them, consider inviting them.
Four Things to Consider Before Inviting Your Mom’s Partner to Your Wedding
1. The Nature and Length of the Relationship
Is it a brand-new thing? Is the relationship long-term or casual?
If they are in a long-term serious relationship, leaving them out of the invite list may seem unfair.
So think about their relationship when weighing your options.
2. Your Dad’s Feelings
Sometimes your dad may not be comfortable seeing your mom’s new flame at your wedding.
We get that it is your big day. But the feelings of those you are close to also matter at your wedding.
If your parents separated or divorced recently, chances are they are still healing from the relationship.
Therefore, inviting your mom’s significant other may trigger some hard/hurtful feelings for your dad.
3. Your Mom’s Support
It is normal for parents to support their children’s weddings, whether fully or partially.
Usually, those paying for the wedding have some control over different aspects of it, including the wedding list.
If your mom is paying for the wedding, she has the right to invite someone she wants to the wedding.
4. How Comfortable You Are
Even if both parents are comfortable with this person being present, you still have to decide whether you’re comfortable.
Weddings are happy events filled with people close to the couple.
If you aren’t uncertain about your mom’s partner, hold off on the invitation first.
But you can only determine this if you have met this person before.
If you never have, you can’t predict what to expect about their behavior and personality. In this case, it is best to leave them out.
How Can You Tell Your Mom Her Partner IS NOT Invited to the Wedding?
If you have weighed out on the above options and have decided not to invite your mom’s partner to the wedding, you should tell her.
But how do you do it politely?
First, we should mention that there is no way to deliver this message without offending her. But here are ways to talk to her:
|Additional Potential Wedding Guest Topics|
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|Should You Invite Your Birth and Adoption Parents to Your Wedding?||Should You Invite Your College Professor to Your Wedding?||Should You Invite Your Dad’s New Girlfriend (or Boyfriend) to Your Wedding?|
|Should You Invite Your Mom’s New Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) to Your Wedding?||Should You Invite Your Old Friends to Your Wedding?||Should You Invite Your Siblings-in-Laws to Your Wedding?|
|What Should You Do If You Forgot to Invite Someone to Your Wedding?||When Is It Too Late to Invite Someone to a Wedding?|
Blame The Budget
Tell your mom you cannot invite her better half because of the budget limitation.
Explain to her that while you may love them to be there, your budget doesn’t allow you to.
But note that this can be tricky if she is actively involved in the planning or contributing to the wedding.
Explain You Are Not Close To Them
Ultimately, you will have to give your mom the reason(s) you don’t want her partner at the wedding.
The closeness issue is a valid reason to not invite them.
Remember that weddings are attended by those close to you.
Explain You’re Not Comfortable With Their Presence
Maybe you have never met them or, when you did, you didn’t like their personality.
Regardless of the reason, you shouldn’t feel obliged to invite them simply because they are seeing your mom.
So, tell her that you are uncertain about their presence at your wedding.
What Should You If You Decide To Invite Your Mom’s Partner To Your Wedding?
If you’ve decided to include them on your guest list, well and good.
But determine where they will sit.
Ideally, they should sit close to your mom as they are her partner anyway.
Also, it is essential to define their roles.
Do you want them to be just guests or want them to play a specific role?
Regardless of your decision, remember you don’t have to feel obligated to give them a special role at your wedding.
At the same time, it is crucial not to include them in official family photos.
They are not part of the family, and you aren’t sure how long they’ll be in your mom’s life.
Therefore, including them in family photos is not a good idea. So, plan on how to exclude them from these photographs tactfully and carefully.
Additionally, they should not be involved in the receiving line unless you are comfortable with this.
So, don’t include them in this part, even if they have been dating or married.