Can Your Brother Be Your Bridesmaid? (Exploring Gender-Neutral Wedding Roles)

Can your brother be your bridesmaid? The answer is yes! Your wedding day is all about celebrating the love between you and your partner, and you should have whoever you want standing by your side.

While traditionally bridesmaids are female friends or family members, breaking these traditional norms has become increasingly popular in recent years.

Key Takeaways

  • You can include your brother in your wedding party as a bridesman.
  • When choosing a bridesman, consider someone who is reliable and supportive.
  • Your brother can wear a suit or dress that matches the rest of the wedding party, and can fulfill traditional bridesmaid duties.

See Also: What Are The Roles Of The Wedding Party?

Understanding the Role of a Bridesmaid

As you plan your wedding, you may be wondering if your brother can be your bridesmaid.

While traditionally bridesmaids are female friends or family members, there’s no rule that says you can’t ask your brother to stand by your side on your big day.

Before you make your decision, it’s important to understand the role of a bridesmaid.

Duties and Responsibilities

As a bridesmaid, your brother would be expected to take on certain duties and responsibilities. These may include:

  • Attending the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner
  • Helping with wedding planning tasks such as addressing invitations or assembling favors
  • Assisting the bride on the wedding day with tasks such as dressing, holding the bride’s bouquet, and helping with photos
  • Supporting the bride emotionally throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day

It’s important to communicate your expectations clearly with your brother before asking him to be your bridesmaid. Make sure he understands the time commitment and responsibilities involved.

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Is It Bad Etiquette to Ask Bridesmaids to Pay for Hair and Makeup?Can You Ask Someone to Be Your Bridesmaid Over Text?
Do You Need Bridesmaids in a Catholic Wedding?Can Your Brother Be Your Bridesmaid?

Bridesmaid Dress and Attire

One of the most visible aspects of being a bridesmaid is wearing a bridesmaid dress.

If your brother is comfortable wearing a dress, he can certainly wear a bridesmaid dress. However, if he’s not comfortable in a dress, there are other options.

For example, your brother could wear a suit or tuxedo that matches the bridesmaid dresses in color or style. Alternatively, he could wear a dress that’s more gender-neutral, such as a pantsuit or jumpsuit.

When choosing bridesmaid attire for your brother, it’s important to consider his comfort and preferences. You want him to feel confident and happy on your big day.

Breaking Traditional Norms

When it comes to your wedding, you don’t have to follow traditional norms. If you want to include your brother in your bridal party, you can! Here are a few things to consider:

Bridesman and Groomswoman

Traditionally, bridesmaids are women and groomsmen are men. However, you can break this norm by having a bridesman or groomswoman in your wedding party. This person can stand on the side of the gender they identify with or stand on the side of the person they are closest to.

If you decide to have a bridesman or groomswoman, you can dress them in the same attire as the rest of the bridal party. Alternatively, you can choose a different outfit that matches the color scheme or theme of your wedding.

Number of Bridesmaids

Traditionally, brides have several bridesmaids in their wedding party. However, you don’t have to follow this norm either. If you want to have just one bridesmaid or no bridesmaids at all, that’s perfectly fine.

When deciding on the number of bridesmaids, consider the size of your wedding and the level of support you need. If you’re having a small wedding, one bridesmaid may be enough. If you have a large wedding, you may want more bridesmaids to help with planning and logistics.

Here’s a table to help you decide on the number of bridesmaids:

Wedding SizeNumber of Bridesmaids
Large6 or more

Remember, it’s your wedding day and you can break traditional norms if you want to. Including your brother as a bridesman or having a smaller bridal party are just a few ways to make your wedding unique and special.

Considerations for Choosing a Bridesman

When it comes to choosing your bridal party, it’s not uncommon to have your brother as your bridesman. However, before making this decision, there are a few things you should consider.

1. Personality and Comfort Level

One of the most important factors to consider when choosing a bridesman is their personality and your comfort level with them.

Your bridesman will be a part of your inner circle during the wedding planning process and on the big day, so it’s important to choose someone who you can rely on and who shares your vision for the wedding.

Think about your brother’s personality and whether he is someone who would enjoy being a part of the bridal party.

Consider his interests, hobbies, and whether he is comfortable being around a group of women for extended periods of time. It’s important to choose someone who is enthusiastic about the role and who will be a positive addition to the group.

2. Family and Friends’ Reactions

Another important consideration when choosing a bridesman is how your family and friends will react. While it’s ultimately your decision who you choose to be a part of your bridal party, it’s important to consider how your loved ones will feel about the decision.

Talk to your family and friends about your decision to have your brother as your bridesman. Explain your reasons for choosing him and address any concerns they may have. It’s important to be clear and confident in your decision, while also being sensitive to their feelings.

Having a close family member as part of the bridal partyPotential for family drama or tension
Your brother may be more comfortable in the role of bridesman than as a groomsmanTraditionalists may not understand or approve of the decision
Your brother may have a unique perspective and be able to offer valuable insightsYour brother may not be interested in the role or may not be a good fit for the group

In conclusion, choosing your brother as your bridesman can be a great way to honor your relationship and include him in your special day. However, it’s important to consider personality, comfort level, and family and friends’ reactions before making this decision. With careful consideration and open communication, you can make the right choice for you and your wedding.

Planning and Preparations

When it comes to including your brother as a bridesmaid, there are a few things to consider during the planning and preparations process. Here are some sub-sections to help guide you through the process.

Bridal Party Accommodations

When deciding to include your brother as a bridesmaid, you’ll need to consider how to accommodate him in the bridal party. You may want to assign him specific duties, such as walking down the aisle, holding your bouquet, or standing next to you during the ceremony. It’s important to make sure that he feels included and comfortable with his role in the bridal party.

Wedding Dress Shopping and Fittings

When it comes to wedding dress shopping and fittings, you’ll need to consider how to involve your brother. You may want to invite him to come along to help you choose a dress or to provide feedback during fittings. Alternatively, you may want to keep these moments more private and only invite your female bridesmaids. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what feels most comfortable for you and your brother.

Rehearsal and Big Day Preparations

During the rehearsal and big day preparations, you’ll need to make sure that your brother is included in all of the important moments. This may include attending the rehearsal dinner, getting ready with the bridal party, and participating in pre-ceremony photos. You may also want to consider how to coordinate his attire with the rest of the bridal party, whether that means matching dresses or a coordinated suit.

It’s important to remember that including your brother as a bridesmaid is a personal decision, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Ultimately, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable and happy with your bridal party and that everyone feels included and valued.

Etiquette and Protocol

When it comes to having your brother as a bridesmaid, there are a few etiquette and protocol considerations to keep in mind. Here are some guidelines to follow to ensure everything runs smoothly on your big day.

Positioning in the Ceremony

First and foremost, you’ll need to decide where your brother will stand during the ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids stand on the bride’s side, while groomsmen stand on the groom’s side. However, there’s no hard and fast rule saying you can’t mix things up. You could have your brother stand on the groom’s side, or you could have him stand next to you as your “man of honor.” Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what feels right for your wedding.

Attire and Boutonniere

Another consideration is what your brother will wear. While bridesmaids typically wear dresses, there’s no reason your brother can’t wear a suit or tuxedo. You could even have him wear a dress that matches the other bridesmaids if you want to keep things cohesive. As for boutonnieres, your brother can wear one just like the other groomsmen.

Toasts and Speeches

When it comes time for toasts and speeches, you may be wondering whether your brother should give a speech like the other bridesmaids. The answer is yes! Your brother can give a speech just like the other bridesmaids, or he can give a speech as your “man of honor.” Either way, make sure he has plenty of time to prepare and rehearse his speech so he feels comfortable delivering it on the big day.

Etiquette and Protocol
Positioning in the CeremonyDecide where your brother will stand during the ceremony.
Attire and BoutonniereYour brother can wear a suit or tuxedo. He can wear a dress that matches the other bridesmaids.
Toasts and SpeechesYour brother can give a speech just like the other bridesmaids.

In conclusion, having your brother as a bridesmaid is a great way to include him in your special day. By following these etiquette and protocol guidelines, you can ensure that everything runs smoothly and your brother feels like an important part of your wedding party.


In the end, whether or not your brother can be your bridesmaid is ultimately up to you. It’s your big day, and you should feel free to include whoever you want in your wedding party.

That being said, there are some things to consider before making your final decision. For example, you’ll want to think about how your brother will fit in with the rest of your bridesmaids. Will he be comfortable wearing a dress or a skirt? Will he be willing to tie his look in with the other bridesmaids, or will he stand out in a way that you don’t want?

Another thing to consider is how your guests will react to having a male bridesmaid. While it’s becoming more common for couples to break with tradition and include people of all genders in their wedding parties, not everyone will be familiar with the idea of a brother as a bridesmaid. You may want to prepare your guests for what to expect ahead of time, so that they’re not caught off guard.

If you do decide to have your brother as a bridesmaid, there are a few ways to make him feel more comfortable. For example, you could have him wear a suit or tuxedo instead of a dress, or you could have him link arms with the groomsmen instead of the bridesmaids. You could also have him stand on the groom’s side of the altar instead of the bride’s side.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to have your brother as a bridesmaid is a personal one that will depend on your individual circumstances. We hope that this article has helped you weigh the pros and cons and make an informed decision that you’ll be happy with on your wedding day.