Can Your Gay Best Friend Be Your Bridesmaid?

When picking bridesmaids, most brides choose their best friends for this role as they are the people closest to them.

But, what if your best friend is gay?

So, Can Your Gay Best Friend Be Your Bridesmaid?

There is nothing wrong with having a gay friend as your bridesmaid. Having them can even be more fun since they can help you plan your day and ensure your wedding is more memorable.

Please do not look at a person’s sexual orientation when deciding whether to include them in your wedding party. But you have to ensure they are comfortable with this decision first.

See Also: What Are The Roles Of The Wedding Party?

Two Things to Keep in Mind When Asking Your Gay Best Friend to Be Your Bridesmaid

1. Might Face Discrimination

The first thing to note is that some people have not fully accepted gays. Therefore, discrimination is still an issue even in this era.

So, when inviting your gay best friend as your maid, make sure that the rest of the bridesmaids agree to this.

We aren’t saying that you ask for their opinion because, technically, you shouldn’t.

However, you want to ensure they are open to the idea and will make your BFF feel comfortable.

2. Their Comfort

Additionally, remember you aren’t allowed to make them feel uncomfortable.

Note that the majority of the bridesmaids are straight. So, it is normal that your friend may feel like they don’t fit into the wedding party.

As the bride, you are supposed to ensure your friend remains comfortable.

Besides including them in the wedding planning, remember to let them participate in pre-wedding events if they want to.

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Keep These Three Things In Mind

1. Get Their Feedback

You should talk to them about your plans and see if they are okay with this role.

That way, you can get their opinions on whether they will be comfortable participating and how they can participate.

Then, talk to the rest of the wedding party before announcing your decision. They also need to know this beforehand and prepare to accommodate your gay BFF.

2. Give Them The Right Role

Next is to pick a role that fits them. There are many ways your friend can participate in the wedding.

If being a bridesmaid doesn’t sound appealing to them, they can give a speech, walk you down the aisle, or stand with you at the altar when saying your vows.

Whatever role you choose, ensure they are comfortable with it.

3. Don’t Overdue It

Again, avoid making a big deal out of it.

Note that previously, only women were included in the bridal party. However, these days, brides allow their gay male best friend to be their bridesmaids.

This inclusivity allows you to spend your big day with the people you love without focusing on boundaries.

Plus, you can maximize your guests’ value by utilizing your friend’s talents. For instance, if your friend loves music, he can create a fantastic playlist to play during the reception or cocktail hour.

You can also ask them if they have a talent better than the rest of the bridesmaids. Chances are that they will jump on this opportunity as they’re likely to shine.

Other Ways to Include Your Gay BFF in Your Bridal Party

1. Attendant

Besides being a bridesmaid, you can pick him as a gender-neutral honor attendant.

That way, he can come to your pre-wedding events without other people acting surprised.

And he can stand with the rest of the bridesmaids at your wedding. It is an excellent way to appreciate your friendship plus, there could be several benefits for doing this for you too.

For instance, he could calm things down when the female craziness spirals and offer a male perspective on things.

The best thing about including your gay BFF in your wedding party is the emotional involvement he offers.

A mixed-gender bridal party is not common. So, the fact that you are inviting him will make him feel valued. It can even bring you close and strengthen your relationship.

2. Groomsmen

If this position is not suitable, you can talk to your fiancé about letting him be a groomsman.

Involving him this way will help avoid awkwardness from people that might not be supportive or understand.

Remember that some individuals may find it hard to understand your decision to allow a man in your bridal party. But no one will pay attention as much if he is one of the groomsmen.

We know it can be hard to make this request to your husband. But think of it this way: your fiancé including him is like including your brother as the groomsman or you including his sister as a bridesmaid.

How to Choose Your Bridesmaids?

When choosing your bridesmaids, you have to choose the people closest to you.

But, once you start making your list, you may realize you have many people who could be your bridesmaids, making your decision tricky. Here are some tips to make your selection easier:

Create a list of the people you feel closest to: this should include your best friends and closest family members.

But remember that while you may feel close to your mother, aunt, or future mother-in-law, they won’t expect you to ask them to be your bridesmaids, as this role is usually left to the bride’s peers.

Decide if the number of bridesmaids will be even to that of groomsmen: your wedding party doesn’t have to be balanced.

But some people prefer to have an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen for the photos to look neat. Please speak to your fiancé about what they prefer and decide together.

Consider the potential bridesmaids’ availability: as much as you want to include people closest to you, some circumstances may limit you.

For instance, maybe your sister is a single mum of three kids under five years, or your best friend has a demanding job making it hard to fulfill this role. In that case, you can decide not to ask them for this reason.

In fact, some may be relieved if you don’t ask them. However, you should communicate your reasons for not including them and reassure them that you still love them.

Final Thoughts

Times have changed these days.

Unlike in the past where the bridal party only had women, men can also participate this way.

So, you can include your gay BFF as your bridesmaid. Just ensure they are comfortable with this arrangement beforehand.


How to Make Your Gay Best Friend Your Bridesman